For the March program, NIRI Boston hosted Eric Barker, author of “Barking Up the Wrong Tree,” a practical blog and New York Times bestselling book, to discuss grit and determination. Over 320,000 people subscribe to Eric’s weekly newsletter, and his content is syndicated by Time Magazine, The Week, and Business Insider. He has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic Monthly and the Financial Times.
Eric kicked off the evening by sharing an interesting factoid: that the average college GPA of the American millionaire is only 2.9. He went on to relate that more than IQ or GMAT scores or even grades, research shows success is often influenced by “non-cognitive traits” – things that aren’t easily measured – chiefly grit and resilience. But how do you become “gritty”? According to Eric, having an optimistic attitude is one of the fundamental factors in being able to endure. He went on to add that people can become more optimistic by remembering the “three Ps”: personal, persistent and pervasive. Seeing positive life events as something that you are responsible for, that will keep on happening, and that will affect many areas of your life creates more optimism. Moreover, tuning into your self-talk, catching pessimistic thinking and transforming negative thoughts into positive ones further generates optimism.
Another key component of grit, according to Eric, is the stories we tell ourselves about our lives, who we are, what’s important to us, etc. He likened stories to the operating system of the human brain, and related that research shows the benefits of retaining positive, meaningful stories not only for your career but also across the board. For example, research indicates that children who know their family history and what their families are about are more likely to excel, resist drug use, etc. Similarly, Eric shared that a key predictor for success in marital relationships is a couple’s ability to share a positive story of themselves as far as how they met, the happy events of their past, etc.
Eric shared that another element of grit and determination is the ability to create a “game structure” for life challenges. He reminded the audience that while games can be frustrating when you lose, they can also be addicting. Eric noted that games that draw us in possess the following essential elements: they are winnable, have novel challenges and goals, and provide feedback. Thus, he encouraged the audience to add these elements to any challenge in order to shift the perspective from something that’s annoying to a fun game that you’re trying to win.
Interestingly, Eric pointed out that when you apply persistence, the element of luck makes itself known. He stated simply that “If you quit, you can’t really experience good luck”. As you keep working at something, you create more opportunities for the “possibility of luck” and for good things to happen. Eric went on to suggest that luck isn’t magic, but a skill that can be built, whereby someone who is more outgoing and open to possibilities and who persists in endeavors experiences more opportunities for good things to happen.
Eric concluded by offering that the components of grit – optimism, meaningful stories, a game structure, and the possibility of luck – need to be practiced. He reminded the audience that “knowing isn’t doing” and that “practice doesn’t make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect”.